Usually I don't do posts about serious/sad things or don't write reviews of political things, because I don't know how to do it, I don't want to do it and I don't think that it is a proper place where to do it. But the recent dramas in Turkey made me feel differently. Yeah, for the most of the people Turkey and Istanbul are somewhere far away, maybe some people have spent their holiday in Antalya/Alanya or even been in Istanbul to enjoy the nice weather, beautiful beach and mysterious mosques and then left. But for me and for some other people the situation is a bit different, because we have lived there (or someones still lives there) and we have there friends/family/love...
I will not write about who and why is guilty or that's only the beginning or it is a way how to make people more scared. But honestly, for the first time I got a bit more scared then usual. I have been twice at the same time with bomb attacks in Turkey. First was in 12th of January in 2016, on that day I went home a couple of hours before the bomb attack what was next of Blue Mosque, where over 10 Germans got killed. It was a pretty shocking news for me, because I have been in Blue Mosque and 2 weeks before that attack I celebrated the New Years Eve in Istanbul and also visited one other famous sightseer in there. For me Blue Mosque with Hagia Sophia and Topokapi Palace is such a pretty and holy area. The second time happened in my last visit, while we came back from Alanya and saw from the news that at this time there's a bomb attack outside of Istanbul and Ankara, it happened in Bursa. As I know there wasn't so much news about it (at least in Estonia), because only the terrorist, who was a woman, died (so it wasn't so big event to make a news I guess, because pff only one life and failed attack...). So these and the other attacks were and still are the reasons why I still avoid Istanbul and Ankara...
And then the airport attack... Almost for a year I have tried to tell myself that Atatürk airport is a safe place and I want to believe that the area which is after the checkpoints and passport points is still safe. But today morning I realized that the area where was the attack, is exactly there where I need to go every time when I'm going from international flights to domestic flights and it freaked me out. Seeing photos and videos of those places... I don't know... I just don't know how to explain it. On the one I'm scared to think that it could be me and how awful the whole situation is. But on the other hand I still have a belief that everything happens for a reason, so actually doesent matter where I am if it is time to go and I'm not the girl who stays home because of "what if" thoughts. So I guess I just need to calm down, be sorry for all those dead people and their families and not only the airport ones but for all over the world ones who had died like this and go to travel, because this is what I want to do. With this post I don't want to make someone angry/upset/sad, I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Thank you for listening me- take care of your friends and family and follow your dreams!
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Ma ei räägi siin kuigi tihiti tõsistel teemadel ega kirjuta arvustusi, sest tavaliselt ma kuidagi ei oska, ei taha ja ei pea seda vajalikuks. Aga üleeilne sündmuste käik Türgis pani mind teistmoodi tundma. Jah, enamikule meile on Türgi ja Istanbul nii kole kauged, heal juhul ollakse Antalya/ Alanyas või isegi Istanbulis korra või paar reisil käidud, ilusat ilma, randa ja mošeesid imetletud ning siis jälle tagasi tuldud. Aga minu ja nii mõnegi teise jaoks on see olukord veidike teistsugune, kes on seal ise elanud või elab, kellel on seal sõbrad/ perekond/ armastus...
Ma ei hakka kirjutama pikka juttu sellest, kes on süüdi või miks on süüdi või et selle taga on kindlasti midagi suuremat ja sellega tahetakse vaid hirmu külvata. Aga ausalt öeldes esimese pauguga ikka kartsin küll. Ma olen varemgi Türgis pommirünnakute ajal olnud, 12. jaanuril 2016 lendasin vaid mõni tund varem (kui sedagi) Istanbulist tagasi Eestisse, kui toimus plahvatus Sinise mošee juures, kus surma sai üle 10 sakslase, juba siis oli see uudis veidike šokeeriv arvestades seda, et ka mina olen seal varem käinud ning 2 nädalat varem käisin Istanbulis uut aastat tähistamas, mille raames samuti üht teist kuulsat vaatamisväärsust väisasin. Lisaks sellele on Sinine mošee ja selle ümbrus koos Hagia Sophia ja Topokapi paleega üks kõige ilusamaid kohti Istanbulis üldse. Teine kord juhtus minu viimase reisi ajal kui tulime tagasi Alanyast ja nägime uudistes, et rünnak on toimunud Istanbulist ja Ankarast väljas pool linnas nimega Bursa, minu teada on sellest väga vähe räägitud, sest peale ennast õhku lasknud naise seal keegi surma ei saanud (seega oli see ju vaid väike plahavatus, millele ei tasu nii palju tähelepanu pöörata?). Need ja teised rünnakud on ka põhjus miks ma Istanbuli ja Ankarasse rohkem ei kippunud ja ei kipu endiselt...
Ja nüüd siis see lennujaama rünnak... Ma üritasin endale juba ammu korrutada, et see on turvaline koht ja ma eeldan, et ala, mis jääb pärast passikontrolle ja turvaväravaid on siiani turvaline, aga pannes täna hommikul pilti kokku, et ala, kus rünnak toimus, jääb täpselt sinna, mida ka mina pean iga kord läbima, et saada rahvusvahelisest osast siselendude osasse või vastupidi ning nähes pilte ja videosid siis ma ei tea... Ma ei oska seda tunnet kirjeldada, ühest küljest mõtlen, et see oleks võinud ju olla mina ja kui hirmus ja jube kõik on. Aga teisest küljest olen ma endiselt uskumusega, et kõik juhtub põhjusega ja sama hästi võiks minuga ka siin midagi juhtuda, kui aeg on käes. Seega tuleb mul vist lihtsalt maha rahuneda, tunda kaasa ohvritele ja mitte ainult neile, kes on Türgis või Euroopas vaid ka mujal ja sirge seljaga reisima minna, sest ise ma ju sellise tee olen valinud. See postitus ei ole mõelnud kellegi ründamiseks/ässitamiseks/hirmutamiseks, need on lihtsalt minu mõtted, mida ma tahtsin teiega jagada.
Aitäh, et mind ära kuulasite- hoidkem oma lähedasi ja täitkem oma unistused!
12.01.2016 night/öö.
The super friendly woman who was working on that night in Atatürk airport in security point wanted to make my trip more wonderful.
Atatürki lennujaama turvakontrolli töötaja tahtis mu reisile erilise punkti panna.
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